I used to have friends on FB that counted very much for me. I'm using the past tense because it's not true anymore. So I started wondering why...and I've come to the conclusion that people get tired very fast on FB. I'm old news, no mystery anymore. And another conclusion is obvious...they were not worth my love.
My big flaw is to always get involved emotionally. I can't do otherwise. This is the way I am. So I wonder if I'm cut out for this game on the net...
I know, deep down inside me, that everybody's fake there. They say they love you, they even tell you that they are not playing with you, that they are sincere... If you doubt them in the beginning, they just keep telling you that you are special, that what their feeling is true...until you surrender and believe them. Oh, you're happy for a while... They are very nice to you, talk to you all the time....then they talk less...busy they say...internet's not working properly they say...didn't want to bother you with my problems they say... and in the end, they don't talk to you anymore...
So you think it's over, cry a lot, being depressed, not funny at all for your other "friends"... Finally, you think you're beginning to get over them...you begin to breathe more freely and stop crying every two seconds...everything will be ok, you think! I can do it, I'm strong, they can go to hell...
And then...they pick that moment to "poke" you, or send you a little message, wanting you to know that they didn't give up on you, oh no, God forbid, you're such a naive idiot, they might need you again to flatter their ego... So they keep coming, less and less, but still coming. Enough for you to feel depressed all over again, spending your night crying...
You'll think I deserve what I got, and you'll be right! I'm a grown up woman, I should know what life is about! Pfff, I learned nothing and still suffer over lost "friends". WAKE UP SILLY WOMAN, THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS!!!
Jade, friends come in all sizes, shapes and colors. Unfortunately, there are just as many fake friends on the internet as there are in the real world. To love and care is what makes you special.
ReplyDeleteYes, there is a risk that comes from caring too much, but you have to be true to who you are. Trust me, there are many more of us out there who love the person that you are than there are haters. Fuck the haters, there will always be haters, on FB and even staring you in the face at the grocery store. Keep being you, don't ever stop loving life or loving yourself.