Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Crypt

Pushed and helped by my awesome Mentor Benjamin Russell, I have entered Julez S Morbius' competition and here's the result of our brainstorming... ( click on the names to see what these two fantastic men are up to)

Carly was dizzy from adrenaline.  “Are you sure that’s the one? She whispered.
“Why are you whispering? Yea, I’m sure.”
Anthony grabbed the book from his back pocket. “See? It says here, the third crypt from the right alley. Come on, we’re wasting time.” 
Carly held onto Anthony’s arm with a tight grip, feeling utterly terrified about what they were about to do. “Listen, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Dead people deserve to rest in peace. We shouldn’t be doing this, stealing something to prove how tough you are!” 
Anthony just ignored her and kept marching towards the crypt. Truthfully, he could barely hear a word she said because of his heartbeat thundering between his ears.He was excited by this new challenge, and she wouldn’t bring him down with her complaints.  He’d only brought her along to be his witness.  This is something he had to do; tonight was his rite of passage. His chance to prove to all the guys at the bar that he had more balls than all the rest of them combined.
When they arrived at the door, he took out the equipment he had brought in a little bag and began to study the lock. “Piece of cake,” he said.  It took him less than a minute to force the lock and the door opened with a grating noise that made Carly’s heart skip a beat.  
As they entered the crypt, Carly thought that she was going to die of fright. A faint pop sizzled along her nerve endings and every cell in her body screamed at her; “Run, get the fuck out of there.”
They finally reached the grave and Anthony turned around to look at her, a big smile on his lips. “Well, that wasn’t so difficult now, was it?”
Carly began to relax and even tried to smile. “Yes, you were right, it’s not….”
Her eyes widened and a cry died on her lips when Anthony’s head toppled off his shoulders and rolled on the floor.


  1. Jade, of course I'm bias - but I really like your little Tale of the Crypt. You have a creative imagination and you're becoming comfortable at writing in any genre. I'm proud of you - well done.

  2. Oh my Jade, what a story! Very creative, and I loved it!

  3. WOW!!! *peeks from behind the sofa* that was great suspense, erm, is it safe to come out now? *looks around anxiously*

  4. Ohhhh, ok now I wanna know more! *stomps foot*
    Nicely done Jade. :)

  5. Poor Anthony, what a shame. Well done Jade.

  6. Well written Jade, now if we could know more about the story that would be fantastic and how utterly perfect for my Lord Morbius's crypt.

    *bites n kisses*

  7. oh... creepy and shocking! Great work, Jade!

  8. See, Anthony? It wasn't that difficult. LOL. I love it, Jade! This is good stuff.

  9. Oh shit! That ending was That’s what he gets for breaking into a crypt. LOL! I had a feeling something was going to happen, but beheading wasn’t at the top of my list. :o) You built us up to the unexpected ending beautifully.